Day 13

This is a pretty depressing Friday night. Nothing going on (if there was I'm broke anyway) and I'm sitting here writing a blog no one reads. Now I know how that crazy cat lady up the street from me feels when she writes out her wishes and burns them at night so they reach her moon goddess. Can there be a database for those people too? I mean, I don't have children and I'm too old to be coveted by molesters (talk about a self esteem blow) so these people are my greatest neighborhood threat. One minute you're helping a nice lady take in groceries and next thing you know you're getting anything from a Scientology sales pitch to a real life version of "Arsenic and Old Lace". And getting poisoned probably sucks way worse when Cary Grant isn't charmingly fumbling around the house you're dying in.

But what compelled me to write today wasn't creepy old ladies that don't exist. I was just watching the USA network (like creepy old ladies that do exist) and their promo for "The Bourne Ultimatum" told me one of the reasons I should watch was because of "Academy Award winner Matt Damon". I understand why this is advertised. But when you're choosing which film you want to see butchered by cable do you really care if there's an Academy Award winner in the film? I don't. Also, I'm sure USA realizes this, but I doubt most people who watch USA do, Damon won that Oscar for writing. He's never won an acting Oscar. He is a great actor, but still, what's the point of advertising the Academy Award? "The Bourne Ultimatum" doesn't need it, it's not exactly a movie that Academy Awards buffs (who are probably huge douche bags) are going to jump at. Certainly it doesn't make USA sound any more prestigious because they happen to be playing a film that features an actor who won an Academy Award for a different film. I love Tom Hanks but I'm not gonna get really excited about "The Lady Killers" being on (has there been a more disappointing collaboration of industry legends than Hanks and the Coen brothers on that film?). I'd rather watch an hour long slide show of Greg Oden's thunderous dong. Can you really use a knee injury as an excuse when you have three legs and you apparently only use two at a time?

Anyway back to the worthless topic at hand, a show like "Leverage" on TNT, absolutely should advertise that it's lead actor, Timothy Hutton, once won an Academy Award, because is there really any other reason to watch that show? What's that? You've never heard of "Leverage"? You think just by the sound of the one word title that the show sucks? And you've never heard of Timothy Hutton? Me either. Also TNT has a habit of putting out awful television. Apparently "The Closer" is a hit show, but unless there are 2 million TV's in the Sedgwick-Bacon home I'm unconvinced. But I digress, because I really don't care.

So turn on the TV, and if you happen to stumble across "Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2", enjoy Academy Award winner Jon Voight, because the Academy Award he won twenty five years prior totally enhances that movie.