T-Minus 1 hour 30 minutes to game time. I'll be posting some pre-game thoughts in a bit, but right now I have some stuff to do so I can't...eating chips and salsa counts as stuff to do when you're unemployed.
30 Minutes to Game Time
I guess I'll take this time to preface the live blog a little bit. I haven't watched an ounce of Olympic coverage so far. It's pretty odd since I love sports and the only thing I've had on my hands these past few weeks more than time is myself, but I just keep forgetting. Then again isn't that generally what happens with the Winter Olympics? You just kinda forget about them. But that could be because most of the events are lame and the medal races aren't between world super powers, just random Nordic countries, Canada, and non-Asian countries with snowy mountains. Oh also the Southern Hemisphere isn't invited. You wanna play in the Winter Olympics Southern Hemisphere? Someone better colonize Antarctica. But I don't blame you if you don't feel like it, it's a bigger waste of money than signing up children for speed skating lessons.
Also apparently NBC's coverage sucks. Again I haven't been watching so I haven't really noticed. However I am currently watching the lead in to this curling match, it's Finland v China, women's ice hockey. There appear to be two announcers, and they seem to be not hating their lives, and not drunk because they don't give a shit. As far as I'm concerned that's pretty outstanding coverage for a women's hockey game, it's at least no worse than NBC's regular NHL coverage. I won't lie I'm kind of enjoying this game a little bit. Mostly because I'm pretty sure the Chinese women's team is just a bunch of prostitutes the Chinese government arrested and forced to learn hockey and compete in the Olympics. Hey it beats having to perform any sex act prefaced with the word "Shanghai", right? I know it's a country of one billion people but I still find it kind of hard to believe there are twenty Chinese women who enjoy playing ice hockey, and have the facilities to do so. I could be wrong though, hmm, maybe that's what happened to all those baby girls disappointed Chinese parents left in the country side. Just kidding, they were eaten by Chinese wolves (and in a fitting bit of irony I just hopped on a toboggan ride to hell making a joke about the Winter Olympics).
But the reason I'm not a huge fan of the Winter Olympics (curling and hockey aside) is because despite how hard NBC tries to fool me, winter is in no way majestic, or interesting. The fact that it just snowed a fuckton where I live only cements this belief for me. What's the only way to make walking the dog in 20 degree weather more miserable? How about I get wet while I do it. What's worse is the industrious kids that start roaming the neighborhood as soon as the snow stops falling. They show up at your door smiling and ready to make money. How the hell can they be happy about shoveling snow? Is this going to last their whole lives? If they get into their fifties and still enjoy clearing their driveways it'll actually be kind of funny. Shoveling snow is pretty much the surest way to get a heart attack, and possibly the only way you can metaphorically dig yourself a grave with a real shovel. I hate these kids, they're tools. Why? Because if 1) You're holding a shovel, and 2) You're happy about it, you're retarded.
My mom actually had the audacity to suggest I join the ranks of these little douche bags. Maybe that's why I hate them. I don't care how much money I owe to various financial institutions mom, I have a degree, I'm above physical labor. Things I'm not above? Drug dealing, prostitution, selling my blood, selling other people's blood, exotic animal trafficking, nude sculpting model, mime, nude mime (painted still of course) .
UPDATE
So it looks like this curling match is not on TV. The Russia v Latvia men's hockey game is on CNBC instead. Maybe I got the time wrong, that is an excellent possibility. What really makes me angry is that I cleared my whole schedule for this. There are other things I could've been doing at 11PM. Damnit, I'm going to bed. I apologize to my three readers.
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